Top 50 Quotes on Friendship in Stoicism
Stoicism, the ancient Greco-Roman philosophy founded by Zeno of Citium, offers timeless wisdom on what constitutes genuine friendship and how to be a good friend. The great Stoic philosophers like Marcus Aurelius, Seneca, and Epictetus believed that true friendship is based on virtue, mutual growth, and shared values rather than pleasure or utility.
For anyone seeking to cultivate meaningful connections and be a better friend, the insights of the Stoics provide invaluable guidance. Here we've curated 50 of the most profound Stoic quotes on the nature of friendship, how to choose friends wisely, and how to nurture connections that bring out the best in one another.
Top 50 Friendship Quotes in Stoicism
The Essence of True Friendship
1. "A friend is a second self." - Zeno of Citium
2. "The best kind of friendship is one in which each person is concerned for the other's character." - Musonius Rufus
3. "Friendship produces between us a partnership in all our interests." - Seneca
4. "A true friend is one soul in two bodies." - Aristotle, according to Diogenes Laertius
5. "Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art. It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things which give value to survival." - C.S. Lewis
6. "A friend is a person with whom I may be sincere." - Ralph Waldo Emerson
7. "Friendship is settled, you must trust; before friendship is formed, you must pass judgment." - Seneca
8. "Ponder for a long time whether you shall admit a given person to your friendship; but when you have decided to admit him, welcome him with all your heart and soul." - Seneca
9. "Regard him as loyal and you will make him loyal." - Seneca
10. "The end of friendship is a commerce the most strict and homely that can be joined." - Michel de Montaigne
Choosing Friends Wisely
11. "The key is to keep company only with people who uplift you, whose presence calls forth your best." - Epictetus
12. "Associate with people who are likely to improve you." - Seneca
13. "Whoever you are who wish to be a friend, let these judgments be first made and beyond altering." - Epictetus
14. "Before friendship is formed, you must pass judgment. Those persons indeed put last first and confound their duties, who judge a man after they have made him their friend, instead of making him their friend after they have judged him." - Seneca
15. "If you consider any man a friend whom you do not trust as you trust yourself, you are mightily mistaken and you do not sufficiently understand what true friendship means." - Seneca
16. "When friendship is settled, you must trust; before friendship is formed, you must pass judgment." - Seneca
17. "Attach yourself to what is spiritually superior, regardless of what other people think or do. Hold to your true aspirations no matter what is going on around you." - Epictetus
18. "The best kind of revenge is not to be like your enemy." - Marcus Aurelius
19. "Seek not the good in external things; seek it in yourselves." - Epictetus
20. "We should not, like sheep, follow the herd of creatures in front of us, making our way where others go, not where we ought to go." - Seneca
Nurturing Friendships and Personal Growth
21. "Whenever you want to cheer yourself up, consider the good qualities of your companions, for example, the energy of one, the modesty of another, the generosity of yet another, and some other quality of another." - Marcus Aurelius
22. "If you wish to be loved, love." - Hecato, quoted by Seneca
23. "Adapt yourself to the life you have been given, and truly love the people with whom destiny has surrounded you." - Marcus Aurelius
24. "Associate with those who will make a better man of you. Welcome those whom you yourself can improve." - Seneca
25. "The process is mutual; for men learn while they teach." - Seneca
26. "Difficulties strengthen the mind, as labor does the body." - Seneca
27. "Don't explain your philosophy. Embody it." - Epictetus
28. "We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak." - Epictetus
29. "Deliberate much before saying or doing anything, for you will not have the power of recalling what is said or done." - Epictetus
30. "Forward, as occasion offers. Never look round to see whether any shall note it. Be satisfied with success in even the smallest matter, and think that even such a result is no trifle." - Marcus Aurelius
Stoic Insights on Love and Affection
31. "Whenever you kiss your child, sibling, or friend, don't layer on top of the experience all the things you might wish, but hold them back and stop them, just as those who ride behind triumphant generals remind them they are mortal." - Epictetus
32. "We suffer more often in imagination than in reality." - Seneca
33. "It is not the man who has too little who is poor, but the one who hankers after more." - Seneca
34. "Throw me to the wolves and I will return leading the pack." - Seneca
35. "Happiness is a good flow of life." - Zeno
Navigating Challenges and Conflicts
36. "It's silly to try to escape other people's faults. They are inescapable. Just try to escape your own." - Marcus Aurelius
37. "We are not privy to the stories behind people's actions, so we should be patient with others and suspend judgement of them, recognizing the limits of our understanding." - Epictetus
38. "All men make mistakes, but a good man yields when he knows his course is wrong, and repairs the evil. The only crime is pride." - Sophocles
39. "That which is not good for the bee-hive cannot be good for the bees." - Marcus Aurelius
40. "How much more grievous are the consequences of anger than the causes of it." - Marcus Aurelius
The Stoic Path to Fulfilling Friendships
41. "No man is free who is not master of himself." - Epictetus
42. "First say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to do." - Epictetus
43. "Circumstances don't make the man, they only reveal him to himself." - Epictetus
44. "It's not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters." - Epictetus
45. "Only the educated are free." - Epictetus
46. "Know, first, who you are, and then adorn yourself accordingly." - Epictetus
47. "You become what you give your attention to." - Epictetus
48. "Do every act of your life as though it were the very last act of your life." - Marcus Aurelius
49. "As is a tale, so is life: not how long it is, but how good it is, is what matters." - Seneca
50. "Life is very short and anxious for those who forget the past, neglect the present, and fear the future." - Seneca
The Stoics offer profound insights on the nature of true friendship - one based on virtue, mutual growth, and shared values. By internalizing these timeless lessons, we can choose friends wisely, be better friends ourselves, and cultivate connections that bring out the best in one another. In embodying Stoic wisdom, we pave the path to deep, fulfilling friendships that enrich our lives and help us grow into the best versions of ourselves.
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